#MeToo

ME TOO...

The craziest thing is those are two of the hardest words to even type, knowing what it is associated with. It brings raw emotion. The night before I started my junior year of high school I was date raped by a man that I barely knew, but was excited to get to know prior to the events of that night. I actually met him at the end of another date, with a guy that I could have seen myself marrying and had known since he moved into my neighborhood several years before. My car wasn't working that day so we had walked quite a distance and he had to walk the rest of the way home, and I had to walk the few miles back to my house. Anyway, the man I met at the end of that date offered me a ride home, and I said he'd first have to give the other guy a ride home first, so we went and got him and drove him home. In the following days, the guy I was on the date with had met someone else and left for college (I'm not sure which order), and I didn't know what would come of us, since college was a big deal, and not within walking distance. So, one of my friends decided to give the guy a call that gave me a ride home to see if he would want to go out with me sometime... yes, back in the day when you had a friend ask a guy out for you.  

I had seen the guy a couple of times, with friends.  This night, he wanted to see me alone, that we would go grab some ice cream...

The night of the incident, a few weeks after meeting him, September 4, 1990, the man drove me up a road that lead to the middle of nowhere, I was physically shaking because I knew there was no ice cream stand up that road, and he said "What do you think I'm going to do, rape you, kill you, and throw you in the river?" The road was the Riverside Road. I didn't fight once it had started, as I had said no beforehand, my mind transported me to a field with beautiful purple flowers and I was running through them.  I literally felt like I had left my body and didn't come back to it until it was over.  The place my mind had transported me to, I had never seen the place before, but for the time, it made my life bearable. I figured if he was following through with the first half of his statement, I didn't feel like dying and being tossed in the river, where it might be a while before I was found. (It was called Riverside Road for a reason). I also really wanted to live, and I knew he had at least a golf club in his trunk (since I had given it to him), and he was bigger and stronger than me.  Death was not something that I was ready to face. 

I spent the next several hours, from about 10 pm to 5 am (three hours before school started, my first day as a junior) in between the hospital and the police department. I made it to my first day of school, then missed the next several. Life was hard for the next couple of years. I am sure I missed more days than I made it to school, or at least it was close. I was even runner up for the "Most days of school missed," or something like that my senior year.  

Very few people knew what happened to me. I was already pretty quiet and it was my own thing to deal with. My family knew, although my younger brothers probably didn't understand nor would I expect them to, and a select few other people.  There were many court dates. I hated men for a year, unless they were related to me. I didn't want to go out with them or spend time with them. I pretty much hung out with my friends and my family.  

In that first year, I organized a presentation to be put on with the New York State Police and the Cattaraugus County Community Action counselors, to discuss how to prevent this from happening, and how to protect yourself if it does happen.  I grew up in a small town, and this wasn't supposed to ever happen in my town, and it certainly wasn't supposed to happen to me.  I had no clue how to defend myself, or things to do to make the person rethink what he was about to do. We had a relatively good turnout from Saint Bonaventure University students, a few people from my high school and members from my church. It was the best way I knew to help others, educate others, so maybe they would not go through what I had.

A year later, I made a lot of decisions, several bad ones and some good ones, too. This kind of thing can really mess with your brain, and probably more so with the brain of someone that was my age. I went on to leave the area for college, and come out west to Idaho and Utah. I studied Psychology at Ricks College and Brigham Young University, so I could help others who have been in my shoes, but I never went on to get my Masters or Doctorate, so I can't do that.

In the end, the person was indicted of sexual misconduct. The Assistant District Attorney, police officers and my counselor figured that I wasn't the first person he had done this to, and he knew how to "cover his tracks." Being a child, having turned 17 during this time, and since he apologized after the verdict had been handed down, I asked that the fine be waived (yes, he was given a fine and no jail time).  Once again, the mind of a child, why should the courts get money when I was the one that would live with it for the rest of my life.... And my "he did say sorry, so he must mean it" mentality.

The sorry was just a courtesy, I decided later, but not much later. I didn't know the game back then. I was young and stupid, stupid enough to go out with the guy, by myself, although I didn't really know him. Young enough to think that the fine should have gone to me and not the courts, so why make him pay it anyway?! I'm not sure if the courts listened to my request; I hope they didn't. I hope he paid for his crime, even if it was just monetarily. I hope he never did this to another girl or woman. 

I have always said that I hope I was the one in four, so my mother, sisters, daughters and nieces, friends, in-laws never have to tell this story. 

I have left out names, because perhaps the guy I was seeing when I met this one doesn't want to be named... and I can only hope and pray that the guy that raped me has corrected his life and has made something of himself.  He was 21 at the time, so he would be 48 now.  

I don't tell my story for sympathy.  I tell it so, maybe, somehow, it will help someone else.  If you are raped, report it!  It could help prevent that from happening to someone else.  I once heard a statistic that a man could rape ten people before one will report it.  I don't know what the statistic is now, but if everyone reports it, then, if it still one in ten, then possibly nine women will not have to be raped by the same person.  

I am glad I didn't end up dead in a river; I'm not sure I would have, but the prospect was certainly made clear.  I have an amazing husband and four awesome children.  I have lived a good life.  I have an amazing family and I wouldn't have wanted to miss a moment of the last 27 years, good, bad or ugly.  I still have many of the same friends, I have made new friends and I have become a person that I don't mind living with. 

If you are reading this, it was just a small time in my life.  It was a bad, hard time in my life, but just a small time, looking at the 16 years before and the 27 after, it does not define who I am.  I look at myself as a survivor; I survived and I have tried to help others and let people know how important they are. And man, those pictures of my kids are from quite a while ago.  I haven't blogged in a really long time, but I thought this was worth starting again, so I could tell my story, but not write a novel on Facebook.  This way, if people want to read it, they can, but if they don't, it isn't in their face. 

My Four Year-Old

I am way behind on this blog... my daughter turned four on October 5.  She is such an amazing soul.  I took the day off work so I could hangout with her.  My husband took the day off too.  Hers is the first birthday that has been celebrated in our family since I started working full time.  Thus, the lateness of this blog.

For her birthday, she wanted Minnie Mouse cupcakes.  I went to the store, and brought her with me.  She decided she needed a birthday outfit.  After much persuasion, and it being her birthday, she got the birthday day outfit.  It was a Dora outfit.

My 11 year-old was in charge of making the cupcakes.  She wanted polka dot cupcake liners, white frosting and regular sized Oreo's and mini Oreo's.  The minis were going to be used for the ears.  The regulars were crushed up and put on the white frosting.

When I finally found the cupcake liners, they were right next to Minnie Mouse cupcake decorations.  I was once again persuaded to buy those.  Some were the sugar decorations that you can eat... It ended up being that you didn't want to eat those.  I guess they were really hard.  My daughter did make some of the Minnie Mouse cupcakes she was planning to with the Oreo's.

Her gifts were a "Frozen" bean bag chair, a toothbrush and toothpaste (which she really wanted), and a bicycle.  The look on her face when she got the bicycle was priceless... The YouTube video is below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIjaFqfGxzs

She goes to daycare now since my husband and I both work.  That night, she helped me get her cupcakes ready to bring to daycare.  She helped me get the decorations on them and then put Oreo ears on them.  She was so proud of the creation :)

She enjoys being with her siblings.  She loves to get to play with them.  She loves bath time.  She loves noodles.  She loves peanut butter.  She loves ice cream.  She enjoys getting to do crafts with her big sister.  She would prefer to be a nudist.  Given any chance, she takes on that role.

Nap time seems to be a thing of the past now, unless she is sick, or I get really lucky.  Then there are the days when she wants to go to sleep at 7 PM and I have to convince her that it isn't a good idea.  Mostly because I don't want to wake up at 4 or 5 AM.  Those hours and I are not friends.

She has a gorgeous smile.  She decided that she likes short hair.  She never liked having it brushed, and the short hair makes her happy.  I had decided that I could handle an A-line cut.  When I walked in and the instructor (we go to a cosmetology school) suggested a Pixie cut, I had lost the war.  She had been asking for a Pixie for weeks beforehand.  It looks good on her, but I have to admit that it seriously took time getting used to.

Her eyes change color.  Some days they are a really dark blue, some days they are a lighter blue and some days they even look brown.  My eyes are the same way, but they go from brown, to hazel, to green.  I have a brother whose eyes go from blue to gray.  I think it is pretty cool.

She loves watching YouTube.  She likes Masha and the Bear, or Lalaloopsy toys.

I am certainly blessed to have this little four year-old.  She keeps me young, along with her siblings.

She had a wonderful birthday!

Eleven Years Ago - April 30

April 30 is a wonderful day in our family.  It is the day we welcomed our first daughter, shortly after noon.  She has been such a blessing to our family.

She has always been an extrovert.  We would go to softball games, a couple of hours away, and she would have friends within minutes that she would play with all day long (or until the tourney ended for our team).

She has always had a strong will.  She knows what she wants and she goes after it.  She sets goals to complete and she completes them.  She may get frustrated but there have not been many times that the goal wasn't completed in the time frame she had set.

This year, for her birthday, she chose to go to the Asian Buffet in our area.  She is big fan of sushi.  I can't eat much they have to offer, so I just sat and watched. but I couldn't miss being at her birthday dinner with her!

For her birthday gift, she wanted a mani-pedi.  She got one on Saturday, when there would be enough time to fit it in to the day.  She ended up with pink and black (every other toe) toenails and her fingernails have plants on them, with a black background.  They look really cute.

I bought cupcakes and popcorn.  We rented the third Night at the Museum.  We popped popcorn and watched some of the movie.  We didn't start it until pretty late, because we had to go to JoAnn Fabrics to get stuff to decorate teachers' doors for Teacher Appreciation week.  She spent a couple of weeks figuring out how she wanted to do each one.  We had three doors to do.

I am so incredibly thankful for that little girl!  She makes me smile.  She is so good at crafts.  She is a great singer.  She enjoys doing theater.  She loves learning.  She is a great daughter and sister.

Bump, Stitches, Headaches, Sinuses and Cerebral Spinal Fluid

This has been an interesting couple of weeks.  About 7 weeks ago, I brought my three youngest children to the doctor.  It turned out that my youngest had strep throat.  My next youngest had symptoms of strep, but ended up not having it.  At the appointment though, the doctor was concerned about a bump on his neck that had been growing.  She referred me to get an appointment with a dermatologist.  My daughter had been having horrible headaches, so she wanted us to get her in for a brain MRI in six weeks. 

Last Monday (the 6th), my 7 year-old son had athe bump on his neck removed.  I am the mommy.  I stood there and held his hands, as I stood by his feet, the whole time staring directly at the ground.  My three year-old was in the room too.  She came up and got between my chin and my feet and watched the whole surgery.  She was completely intrigued.  I am not sure exactly what she saw, because if I would have looked, I would have passed out immediately.  I know myself well enough to be able to say that.  He got two stitches in his neck.  She watched that too. 

The bump on his neck

My toddler wanted a photo of her neck taken also.  So, I took a picture of her neck, to appease her.

Her neck

I got the report back a few days later that it was a benign cyst.  That is always good news to hear the word "benign" or "negative" when coming from a doctor and discussing something that had been removed from the body.  I was never a fan though, when I was hoping to be pregnant, and I would hear the words "negative."  That seems like the only time when "negative" coming from the doctor, was actually negative news for me.  He does seem to be allergic to bandages though.

Stitches and allergic reaction to bandage

My 10 year-old has been suffering from headaches for several months now.  Recently, they started getting so bad that the light and noise affected her to the point of tears.  It was then that I decided to have her looked at by the doctor.  We were told to do a food journal, make sure she is hydrated and get her an MRI in six weeks.  Well, six weeks was this Monday (Apr 13).  She had her MRI. 

Going into the MRI

I have had an MRI before.  I had to take Valium before going in the tube.  I am not a fan of them, but I know they are necessary at times.  She was perfectly fine with it.  They gave her goggles that played a movie for her.  She chose "The Hunger Games."  I think the MRI wasn't long enough for her.  She would have preferred to watch the whole movie.

I was told that we should have the results by Wednesday.  The doctor was only in her office half a day on Wednesday, so we got the results on Thursday.  She has fluid in her sinuses which is usually a sign of a viral or bacterial infection.  The doctor gave her a prescription for zithromax to see if that helps.

She also has a spot where the cerebral spinal fluid in her brain is dilated more than average for someone her age.  The doctor doesn't seem too concerned about it because there is not a mass that is causing this.  She said it is an incidental finding, as this shouldn't be what is causing the headaches.  The MRI is going to be repeated in nine months to see if there has been any change. 

Getting the movie goggles on

I have told myself that I am not going to "WEBMD" what this could be.  It seems that only comes up with horrible things.  I don't want to see horrible things, especially when it very likely nothing. 

My 7 year-old got his stitches out yesterday.  It seems that the removal was more painful than having them put in.  He was brave about it though. 

I am hoping that my visits to the doctor are about over for my children.  If the medication doesn't help her headaches, she will be referred to a neurologist.  I am guessing she just suffers from migraines.  They seem to run in my family.  :( 

I am hoping and praying that the headaches subside and she doesn't need to go to a neurologist.  We shall see!

Happy 12th Birthday!

I don't know where I was 12 years ago on Saturday, or 12 years ago next Saturday.  I do know that 12 years ago last night, I went to the hospital to have my pregnancy induced because I had too much amniotic fluid.  Who knew there was such a thing?! 

Anyway, I gave birth to my little guy 12 years ago today, well, tonight actually.  He ended up being an emergency c-section.  I was so blessed to have given birth where I did, because there was a NICU right next to the operating room.  I think this saved my little guy's life.  I knew something was wrong immediately, because all the shows I watched, the mother always got to see the baby after birth.  This was very different.  I had never seen them grab the baby and run out of the room.  This is what happened though, in real life, for me. 

I had just had major surgery.  All I kept saying was "Keith, you need to find out what is going on.  You need to find out what is wrong with the baby!"  It seemed like a lifetime and no one told me what was going on.  Perhaps, because they weren't quite sure what was happening or what the outcome would be.  My baby wasn't breathing.  They had some work to do to change that, but they did change that. 

They came out, after that lifetime, and asked Keith if he wanted to go see his baby.  He looked at me, knowing I had just had major surgery, and I said "Yes!"  Off he went!  After they finished getting me stapled up and stabilized, they started wheeling me out of the operating room.  As they were wheeling me out, Keith came out with this little bundle, completely wrapped up from head to toe, except for his face. 

The tears started streaming, and I uttered, "Hi, I am your mommy!  I love you!"  He was so white and so tiny.  I was not permitted to hold him.  I couldn't count his little fingers or toes.  I just remember how white he was.  I blamed it on the fact that Keith and I are both quite pale.  I didn't realize that it was because he hadn't been breathing.  I didn't learn this fact until later. 

He stayed in the NICU for four days.  Thankfully, I was in the hospital the same amount of time.  I was finally allowed to hold him at about 3 AM when I could make the trip to the NICU.  Before that, I had my husband go and take pictures and count his little fingers and toes.  That was how I saw my baby for the first several hours of his life.

I have been blessed everyday since then to have such a wonderful young man for a son!  There hasn't been a day in the past 12 years where he hasn't made me smile.  He is an amazing big brother.  He always has been.  He became a big brother at 13 months and 13 days.  He can not remember his life without being a big brother.

He will get the Aaronic Priesthood in our church on Sunday.  He will be able to start going to the temple to do baptisms after that.  He is very excited about both things.  He is a good helper around the house.  He is sensitive and loving.  He never wants to cause anyone sadness.  I was truly blessed by this fellow choosing me to be his mommy! 

New Year's Resolutions

This year I made a few New Year's Resolutions, but I neglected to blog about them.  I decided that I was not going to make any "lose such and such amount of weight" resolutions.  I want to get in better shape, I don't care about my weight.  I guess that isn't completely true, I do care, but I figure if I am getting into shape, the rest will fall into place itself.

First of all, I decided a few months ago that by the end of this year, I would do a chin up...unassisted.  My upper body has always been weaker than my lower body, well, at least since adulthood.  I remember when I was younger I could beat boys at arm wrestling...

Friday, Jan 17, we got a membership to your local fitness center in the area.  They have a couple swimming pools, an indoor track, cardio machines and weight training area.  This past week, on Thursday, my husband and I went and did some weight training.  I managed to bench press 65 pounds.  I thought my husband was going a little loco when he suggested that, I thought the bar would be enough since I hadn't done any real weight training in almost four years.  I did three sets of eight with 65 pounds.  I have to say I was proud of myself :)  Then I did bicep curls.  The first set was 8 pounds, 12 times. Then 12 pounds, 12 times.  Then my husband thought I should go to the assisted pull up machine.  I took 112.5 pounds off of my weight, and I did three sets of six chin ups.  Then I did, two sets of eight dips at that weight and then one set of five at 93.5 lbs.  I have been sore for a few days now, but I feel great (if that makes any sense).  

Another resolution was to exercise 3 to 5 times per week for 20 minutes or more each time.  We have been swimming a few times since we got the membership.  It is a nice place to bring the kids to swim.  I need to sign my three year-old up for swimming lessons.  She is doing better being in the water, but she still has some fears I need to figure out how to help her overcome.  My daughter, and another person and her two daughters have been training for a 5K with me.  We started on Wednesday.  Before that, I was still making sure to get in my 20 minutes or more.  This structure is helping.  My children love going to the fitness center, so it makes it a lot easier.

The next thing I did was give up ice cream.  I had my last bowl on New Year's morning.  It was the rest of the Turkey Hill Peanut Butter Chocolate ice cream in the house.  I even took a picture of it before I ate it.  My addiction to ice cream has probably contributed to a few several of the unwanted pounds I am hauling around.

My last bowl of ice cream for 2015...taken 1/1/2015

I have not had another bowl of ice cream since then.  I haven't even really been tempted.  It might be due to the fact that after I ate it, I prayed that I would have help not eating ice cream for the rest of the year.  Heavenly Father does answer prayers, and sometimes you know He has a sense of humor in the way that He answers.  By the end of the night, I was puking out of both ends (as one of my friends phrased it).  Sorry, about all the information, but what better way for me not to want to eat ice cream, for quite a while!  

I resolved to plan meals ahead of time.  I have not done too well at that.  Although, I do know what we will be eating a couple of times this week, although I don't know what days.  I need to do better about that one!

I resolved to learn to cross-stitch.  I haven't started that yet, although I bought all the materials for the item I wanted to cross-stitch.  Then my daughter taught me how to crochet.  I am working on a blanket that might take me the whole year to do.  It is BYU-Provo's colors.  My daughter (she is 10) thought a good size would be 400 links.  I think this will be a California king size blanket.  Oh well...our bed is a queen, but it wouldn't hurt to have something that the whole family can sit on the couch and cover up under while watching a movie!

I also like to make spiritual resolutions.  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we get callings.  We don't get paid for doing the service we provide.  Currently, I am one of the librarians. I have been a primary teacher, scout leader and Relief Society teacher in the past.  I want to be there to fulfill my calling as one of the Ward Librarians.  This entails making copies as requested, giving out pictures, chalk and erasers, etc.

Another resolution is to go to the temples more often.  Before I became a mother, I would go much more frequently than I do now.  I want to change that.  There is a peace that is felt at the temple, where I know that I am doing things to help others.  I feel like it is a time when all my stress is left outside and I can concentrate on serving others.

Ogden Utah Temple

I am already thinking about New Year's Resolutions for next year.  I didn't think of them in time for this year.  I think that the ones I have this year will help with next year's resolutions a lot though.

Christmas Eve Came and Went Again

This year for Christmas Eve, we drove to Rock Springs, Wyoming, to have lunch with my sister and her son.  It was a nice trip and I am thankful that there was somewhere we could meet and have lunch.  We ended up at Golden Corral.  They do have pizza on their buffet, so it wasn't like we went against the pizza on Christmas Eve tradition.  I just couldn't eat it, since it wasn't gluten free.

The three of us girls were together again.  I enjoy getting to have these times with my sisters.  Even if it is for just an hour or so, it is definitely worth the time.  One of my sisters lives with me, her husband had to work, so she rode with us.  She sat in the back with the children and got to play referee.

After we had lunch, we headed to a music store.  My daughter has wanted a guitar for a while now, and they were having good deals there.  She didn't have enough money for one, or any money for one, so she borrowed it from her brothers.  She agreed to pay them back.  So far, the only hitch is, she isn't allowed to play it until it is paid for.  She is really happy with it though.  It is purple, which isn't a surprise!

After going to the music store in Rock Springs, it was time to say goodbye to my sister and my nephew.  I always hate the goodbyes, but it is definitely worth it to see them.

My husband took the kids to see Big Hero 6 when we got home.  I stayed home with my toddler, because she isn't a big fan of sitting in movie theaters.  I also had some things to do around the house before Santa came.  Santa comes on Christmas Eve in our house.  My sister and her husband also stayed home.

My husband called when they were on their way back from the theater, so my toddler, sister, bro-in-law and I could go walk around the neighborhood and look at Christmas lights so Santa could come. My daughter loves looking at Christmas lights.  It was a beautiful night.  While we were out, we saw a TV by the curb saying that it was free, and that it works, so I remembered where it was so we could go claim it if it was still there, after opening gifts.

This was taken a few days before Santa came.  There were a lot of gifts under there.  My seven year-old exclaimed it was the best Christmas ever.   I was happy that he felt that way.  Opening gifts on Christmas Eve, gives us the time to remember why we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day.

My sister made all the children blankets.  Our puppy always loved laying on the blankets, so it wasn't too shocking to see this under the tree later that evening.

I am so blessed to have my children.  We enjoyed Christmas Day with my sister and her husband, and my sister-in-law, brother-in-law and nephew.  It was a nice day with them.

My Youngest Son Turned Seven - Dec 20 and Lost His First Tooth - Dec 30

Where has the time gone?!  He was my only child that was born in NY.  We are once again in Utah.  He is my little blonde hair, blue-eyed fellow.  He reminds me a lot of one of my brothers, both personality and looks.

He had planned what he wanted to do for his birthday for months.  He wanted to go to Wingers, which is a restaurant in the area, that gives you all the popcorn you can eat.  I think that is what drew him in!

He started to ask to open his gifts the day before his birthday, because it was "just one more day."  I kept telling him he had to wait until his birthday.  I got woken up very early by him so he could open his presents.  I told him he would open them later, after his cupcakes and cookies had been made.  He wasn't horribly amused with that idea.  I remember being a kid though!

That morning, the kids went over to one of our family friends so Keith and I could get some things done around the house, before the party time started.  Keith then picked them up and we met my sister and her husband at Wingers for lunch.  Their gluten-free fryer was down, so they let me have all the salad I wanted for $2.  I had two plates of it.  Thankfully, I love salad!  The birthday had chicken, and all the popcorn he could eat.  They also brought him a huge slice of mint chocolate chip ice cream pie.  He shared it with everyone!

His uncle and his dad then had to run down to Salt Lake to take care of some business.  When they got home, we sang happy birthday and he opened gifts.  I had bought birthday wrapping paper, because I didn't want to wrap his stuff in Christmas wrapping paper, just because we had some.  I got a couple of pictures with my phone, but the rest are on a camera and I don't have access to it to get them off right now.

His big gift was a remote control car and a game called Tenzi, which is dice.  He got a few other smaller things.  He was elated!

In the past year, he started first grade.  He has learned how to read a lot better.  He knows how to cook scrambled eggs, and enjoys doing it.  He loves Monopoly.  He enjoys playing with our dog, Hazel.  Him and his brother share a room and have bunk beds.  They still haven't quite come to terms with which bunk is whose.  They will switch whenever they feel like it.

He loves doing yardwork a lot more than housework.  He will be the first one out there to pull weeds or shovel snow.  He helped to turn the soil in the garden with the shovel.

He loves playing with his siblings.  He has an amazing smile and a good sense of humor.  He hates to get his haircut!  His request for his birthday meal was turkey roast.  We had that the next day, since he didn't give me the request til about 6 pm, and we wouldn't have been eating til after 9 since I would have had to go buy it.

He lost his first tooth on Dec 30.  My sons hold on to their baby teeth, in their mouth, for as long as possible.  He was so excited to finally lose a tooth, so the tooth fairy could come!  He is like me when it comes to getting adult teeth, his adult tooth was growing in behind the baby tooth.

I am so blessed to have this little fellow for a son!

My Toddler Turned Three - October 5

First of all, my toddler turned three on Sunday, October 5.  She wanted to go feed ducks, so we did that.  She is quite easy to please!

She got a lot of clothes for her birthday, as she had been growing like a little weed.  She also got a little box with an owl on it, because she loves owls, and Jenga blocks to play with.

That morning we started off by watching General Conference, which is a semi-annual broadcast from our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We then had her open her gifts, for which she was very excited.  She loves the surprise entailed with presents, but I think she would be just as happy if she was opening empty boxes.

We then had lunch and toward evening, when it had cooled off a little, we went to the park where we feed ducks.  After we fed the ducks, we went on a walk around the park.  She got to walk, instead of ride in her stroller, because she wanted to :)

Her request for dinner was chicken and broccoli casserole.  I didn't realize that we didn't have everything for that, so we had that later in the week.

It is so hard to believe that this little one is now three years-old.  By the time she turned three, she started to urinate in the potty.  She has pooped a few times in it, but I still can't convince her to make that a regular practice.  She will bring me a diaper so she can poop.  If I don't put it on her, she will not go, even when her stomach starts hurting really bad.

Her health has seemed to improve, but she still has times when she gets sick out of blue.  She doesn't want to eat during these times which cause me great stress.  We learned that she is allergic to mosquitoes.  Where she gets bit, it swells right up.  At one point, her whole hand was swollen because she was bitten between her pinky and ring finger of her right hand.

She was weaned, cold turkey on August 4.  I think this was harder for me than it was for her.  She took it pretty well.  I was a nervous wreck, because the times she wouldn't eat, at least she would nurse, and I knew she was getting nourishment she needed.

Her hair grew a lot this year.  It is actually long!  She loves owls, as I mentioned before.  Her great-grandma, who she is named after, loved owls too.  It is amazing to me that there is that kind of connection, because I never have had owls around.  When we were visiting my parents in NY, she had owls around, and my toddler immediately started playing with them.

She loved her summer in New York with her grandparents while my foot was broken.  She would spend hours playing outside in their backyard or sitting on the swing.  I am so blessed to have this little girl as one of my children.

A Nightmare, a Five Mile Race and Black Island Farms Corn Maze and Slides

I went to sleep at a decent time last night.  I had been exhausted.  I was out cold by 10:35, then woke up for a moment to see that David Letterman was on, so changed it to Jimmy Fallon.  I do have a preference.  Then quickly fell back to sleep.  At 3:30, approximately, I was roused from my sleep by a very loud scream and crying.  My toddler had a nightmare, or night terror, I am not sure how to tell the difference.  I was awake for the next 2.5 hours, so was she.  That was not what I was expecting as part of preparing for my race that I believed started at 8 am.  I know my alarm went off at 7:16 am.  I know I turned the alarm off.  I was thankful that I woke up at 7:46 am.  I have never gotten ready so quickly for a race in my life!  Thankfully, I knew where everything was that I needed!

I got to the race at 8:01 am.  I was sure that this was one of my race nightmares come true.  I quickly grabbed my MP3 player and exited my van.  I went scurrying around, looking for where the starting line was.  I tried to figure out where everyone was congregating, but when I couldn't figure that out, I figured I would use a port-a-pot....thanks to race day nerves.

I finally found someone and asked them where the starting line was.  She didn't know where that was either, since it was her first year.  I then stated, "I thought the race started at 8."

She replied, "It starts at 8:30."

I then told her the story of my morning (like she cared), and how thankful I was that it was a later start than I thought.  That gave me time to go and change the battery in my MP3 players, since I only had one bar left.  I wouldn't want it to die midrun, although it wouldn't have been the first time that happened to me.

Finally, the call to the starting line was made for the half-marathoners.  I chatted with a couple of women while race directions for the half-marathoners were made.  One of them explained the course, since she was familiar with it.  Then it was time for use five milers to line up.  I always line up toward the back, that way I don't get passed by a lot of people.  We were told that there would be another race on some of the same course we were on.  We had to follow the green arrow, the other race had orange ones.  I made a mental note.  Then the countdown began, backward from 10.

When I crossed the starting line, I started my watch.  Then I just ran, for 1 hour and five minutes.  Unofficially, I ran for 1:08:59.1.  But the half marathoners started a couple of minutes or so ahead of us, and that is when the race clock started that gave the unofficial time.  I still have those moments reminding myself that I ran a 10K in 1:00:15.  I then remind myself that I was 5 years younger, 30 lbs lighter, and hadn't broken my foot a few months before.  The 5 miler was a little more than 5 miles too.  I remember I crossed the five mile mark, and still had a ways to go.  The distance passed the 5 miles, I don't know, but it was a distance, somewhere between .25 mile and .50 mile.

I also saw a woman at an aid station fall down.  She was there by herself.  I couldn't run passed and not find out if she was okay.  When I got to the aid station, I asked her if she was okay.  She stated that she had stepped wrong on her bad ankle and it had rolled causing her to fall.  She was limping around.  I didn't want to continue until I knew she was okay and she assured me that she was.  I was thanked her for her service at the run and continued on.  The conversation didn't last more than one or two minutes I imagine.

Upon finishing the race, I ate a third of a banana and had a glass of chocolate milk.  Then I headed home to pick up my husband and children.  As part of the race registration, I got a free ticket for myself and two guests into the Black Island Farms Corn Maze (where the race started and ended).  I picked them up and we headed back.

They had an area with goats, turkeys, rams, llamas, peacocks and geese.  The photo below is a picture of the children with a kid (baby goat) between them and to the back.  It is brown.  It is hard to see. The children wanted a picture with it though.

After looking at all of the animals, we continued on to several slides.  There is a really long one that looks like it was made out of a plastic pipe.  

This is a picture of my husband going down the slide with my toddler.  She turned three on October 5.  It is so hard for me to believe that my baby is three now!  She is enjoying seeing a photo of her and her daddy on here, with the slide!

This is a picture of my oldest son, he is 11.  They had to ride a burlap sack down, probably to help with going down quicker.  I had to time the photo so that it would get them before they went passed the view of the lens.  So, I had to take it when they were still in the tube.  

This is my oldest daughter, at age 10.  She enjoyed her trip down the tube also.  That was one of the favorite things of the day.

This is a picture of my youngest son, he is six.  Another big fan of the slide!  He went down the slide several times!

Here is my toddler climbing up a rope ladder.  She wasn't a fan of that.  This led to a smaller slide.  Immediately after taking this photo, she exclaimed that she was scared.  I got her off of that.  She and her dad went down the slide together.  He helped her get to the top of that pile of hay.

After the kids got tired of sliding, they announced that it was time to enter the corn maze.  This was the first corn maze any of us had done, except for my husband.  It was an exciting moment, and a little nerve wrecking.  My biggest fear was one of the kids taking off into the corn and getting lost for minutes, hours, or days.  Nothing that I enjoy thinking about... I took a picture of my husband with the children and took one of me with the children, then we continued into the maze.  

 I tried to show off my race number, but it just didn't all show up!  I was number 1009.  Those are some really beautiful children, in my own opinion!  I am blessed to have each one of them.

As we traversed the corn maze, the children took turns picking each turn, from oldest to youngest.  They enjoyed being in control of our destiny.  We went in a few circles.   Phase 1 of the corn maze took us about 10 minutes to go through. 

Then we entered Phase 2, which took considerably longer.  Phase 2 turned into Phase 3 at a tower.  I turned on my stopwatch when we entered Phase 2. We let the children decide our fate, until they got tired of being in the corn maze.  Then we found the tower again, took a look, my husband figured out how to get us out, and we followed him.  We got out of the maze after 39 minutes.  Oh, I didn't mention... I have a horrible sense of direction!  My toddler did make it out of the maze, but she really was tired of it!  She didn't want to be in the above photo, but after I took it, she wanted to be in one, so we have the photo below too!

It was a really fun morning/afternoon with my husband and children.  I was thankful that I got to run the race, and that I was able to run the whole time.  I was thankful that we then got to have this family time together.  It was fun to see the children working together to get us through the mazes.  They worked really well to try to figure out the turns.  Sometimes, my toddler would lead us a way the children didn't think we should go, but we all went anyway.  In the end, we made it out and we had a good, memorable time.

Veggie Picking

Last month, we loaded all the kids into the car.  We decided we would go and get a bunch of veggies from a local "you pick" farm.  We filled up a box, which is an estimated bushel, with eggplant, tomatoes, peppers and green beans.  It was a lot of fun to go out there and get some fresh veggies. The veggies were enjoyable.  The kids were proud of what we got...

I am not sure we will ever do that again.  I have no clue what to do with that many peppers, green beans, and eggplants.  We added some things to our neighbor's compost pile.  I did have some fresh veggies before they met that fate though.  Keith ate a bunch of the green peppers.  We discovered there really isn't anything to do with eggplant, except to make eggplant lasagna.  My daughter cooked a lot of the green beans, and those were really good to eat.

Things I learned, apparently you don't have to have tomato cages.  There were hundreds, if not thousands, of tomato plants, and there wasn't a single one of them with a tomato cage.  They were all just sprawled across the ground.  Not anything I had ever thought of doing, but it seems to work.

I learned that it is easy to fill a bushel basket with eggplants, although there really isn't a use for eggplants.  Have you tasted one?  I don't appreciate the taste of a raw eggplant...  I imagine I would feel the same way about a boiled one.

I guess I am posting the picture because I really enjoy seeing the children :)  I thought I would give a little background to it.  I will continue to wish that we lived back east, where we could have filled that box with blueberries, and freeze them.

Every Step Counts

It was May 30, 2014, I was minding my own business, the best I could.  My toddler had been diagnosed with strep throat the day before.  We were invited to a beginning of summer S'mores party at a friend's house.  I sent my husband and three older children with all the necessary fixins.

I stayed home with the little one, because, to be honest, who wants to have a sick kid around?!  If it isn't my sick kid, I prefer to not have them around.  As a mom, I have always tried to be responsible; not bring my kids to church sick, and not send them to school sick.  So, as much as I LOVE burnt marshmallows (more than you can understand reading this), I stayed home.

I figured while I was home, I should exercise.  I did 12 minutes of running in place, in 20 second increments. Run 20 seconds, rest 20 seconds, and so on, for 12 minutes total.  I ran for six minutes and rested for six minutes, but when you do the running as fast as you possibly can, it can really poop you out!  Then I thought, well, why don't I do some push-ups, on the stairs.  I proceeded to do that.  I can't even begin to tell you how many I did, because what happened next led to the worst pain in my entire life.  Yes, I am including childbirth.  Possibly because I got to see, or hold, or know I would see soon, the most amazing little person in the world.  I had four of those most amazing little people...

I stood up, started coming down the stairs, and didn't realize how far up I was.  I took, what I imagined was, the last step.  Well, it was one of the last steps I took for six weeks.  I was at least two stairs up higher than I thought.  I took that step, and I knew, mid-air, that I had done something drastically wrong.  I landed directly on my ankle.  Everything that could pop in my left foot, did pop.

I was still at home, with my toddler.  My husband and three older children were still gone.  My husband doesn't use a cell phone.  Thankfully, one of my friends, went to the party too.  I sent her a message to send my husband home, telling her that I was pretty sure I broke my ankle.  I sent this message, via my Facebook on the computer, since I didn't have a cell either.  My toddler wasn't amused that her sobbing Mom was taking the computer from her.  Like I said, the most painful thing in my life...

My husband arrived home, probably 20 minutes later.  I was still sobbing.  But, I had known, that I was going to deal with the pain through the night.  With the aid of Mobu Herbals PM Pain Lotion, acetaminophen, ice, and elevation, I made it through the night.  My husband and I don't have health insurance.  The Urgent Care location that we have a membership to had closed at 8 pm.  It was 8:15 pm when it happened.  There was no way I was going to an ER to pay them $1000's when I could go to the Urgent Care for $10.

I found out that I broke the third metatarsal in my foot and sprained my ankle.  As to how I didn't break my ankle, that is still well beyond my grasp.  Anyway, I was put in a splint for 4-6 weeks.  My parents came out the following week to help me out, since this happened the day the children got out of school for the summer.

I would spend the next six weeks in this.  Non-weight bearing, on crutches.  That is when I realized that it was a very bad idea to ever buy a house without a bathroom on the main level.  If you take nothing else from reading this, only buy a house that has a bathroom on the main level!  My parents stayed out here for four weeks.  Then we headed back east.  I brought my four children with me.  We stayed there for six weeks.  At the six week mark, I got to switch to a boot and start putting minimal weight on my foot.

That was a happy day in my life, being able to walk on two feet again, even if it was with crutches.  I was excited to be done with the splint.  I was excited to have two feet on the ground again.  I was minimum weight bearing for two weeks.  Then I got rid of the crutches, at eight weeks.  That was also a great day in my life!  Crutch free!  I used my boot for about 2 1/2 more weeks, mostly because I forgot to bring my other shoe back to New York with me when I left.

I noticed, at about five or six weeks, that the muscle in my leg was starting to disappear.  It wasn't a nice day to notice that, especially since there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.  It was hard to basically see a lot of loose skin, where muscle used to be.  I didn't pay a lot of attention to it, mostly because I couldn't change it.

I didn't realize, until today, how much that muscle really mattered.  Although there was nothing I could do about losing it, because I don't know that you can strengthen it, when you can't even put your weight on it, let alone any other weight.  I started "running" again on Saturday.  The time it takes to run two miles is not anything I would ever brag about.  I timed it on Monday, and it is basically a 14:20 mile, over two miles.  I wasn't amused at all about that time, since it is more than four minutes slower than my fastest time.  Heck, I had run 2 miles in less than four minutes slower than that mile.

As I walked today, the same distance that I ran on Monday, in the same spot, I realized something.  Maybe it isn't right, but it is the conclusion I came to.  This left leg of mine does not have the necessary muscle for the foot turnover rate that it used to have.  On top of that, my foot, ankle and heel still bother me.  I am sure that there are several tendons and ligaments torn up in there.  I can't afford to get it fixed, and even I could, I don't think I would.  I have heard too many stories of feet/ankles being worse after surgery than they were before.

From this point on, I will remember that it isn't about the time right now, it is about rebuilding the muscle that was lost in six weeks of not bearing weight, two additional weeks of bearing minimal weight, and a total of 14 weeks without running.  I also have to remember that I gained weight, so I am also hauling around additional weight.  Right now, I am doing Weight Watchers to help correct that issue.

I will get back to running how I used to, but I guess I have to build back up to that.  EVERY STEP COUNTS!!

12 Weeks and 2 Days Later

With the last update, it was my children's last day of school and I broke my foot.  That happened 12 weeks and two days ago.  A lot has happened since then.  My parents spent about four weeks here with me to help out with the children while I couldn't walk on my foot.  We then headed back east for six weeks. 

I had a wonderful summer in New York.  My children and I rode back with my parents.  My mom drove my van with myself and my two youngest children and our dog.  My dad drove back with my two older children and their dog.  It took us about 3 days of driving, stopping at night to sleep. 

While I was home, I got to see some of my friends.  I saw some longer than others, but I was thankful for any time I got to spend with them.  Life is busy, and not being able to walk for most of the summer had its limitations. 

I got to go to the Hill Cumorah Pageant with my mom, my chldren and one of our friends, who is also the creator and President of MOBU Herbals.  It was her first time to go, and it was just coincidental that her visit to NY coincided with the Pageant.  We got to have a meeting with her and it helped to introduce the product to some of my friends in the area.

I got to watch a lot of softball games.  My brother has played with some of his fellow ballplayers for as long as I can remember.  They are like brothers.  I enjoy getting to cheer them on.  My sister-in-law has played on the same team for years, and I enjoyed getting to see her play and some of the teammates I remembered from before. 

My children got to catch up with some of their friends also.  They also have children that we consider cousins.  They are my sister-in-law's niece and nephews.  They spent a lot of time with them.  I guess it is hard to explain our family dynamics, but we love my sister-in-law's family as if they are our own.  Some of the cousins from Washington also came out for a few weeks so my children got to see them also.  We love being together with everyone.

I started to put weight on my foot, without crutches, a couple of weeks before leaving New York.  I hate crutches.  It is something I never want to deal with again! 

We went blueberry picking, which is a very pastime for us.  We have been doing that since I was in high school.  We spent a lot of time in the backyard.  I love my parents' backyard.  They have a couple swings that we just sit in and swing.  Dad bought a badminton set for the kids to play.  They spent hours playing and laughing.

My dad turned 70 while we were there.  It is amazing/crazy to me, that my dad is 70.  If you know him, I am sure you agree that it seems impossible. 

While I was home, two of my sisters and one of my brothers came home.  All at different times, but it was wonderful to see them all.  The worst thing about living where I do is that it is so far away from family.  My sister and her husband will be moving back here in a few weeks, so I am really excited about that.

I honestly would have never come back here if I hadn't left my husband here.  So those in this area that are glad, or sad, I am back, you can thank my husband.  Those in New York who are sad, or glad, I am not there, can also thank my husband.

I think I have written before about how running helps me deal with life and curb depression.  Having not been able to run for the last 12 weeks and 2 days hasn't been good for the psyche.  The funny thing is that I was fine in New York, probably because I was surrounded by people that love me.  It isn't so much here.  I have a really hard time and miss being able to pound the pavement to get over that.

In other news, I weaned my youngest, who is also my last, child while I was back east.  She went cold turkey on August 4th.  I knew that I would need a lot of support in my decision, so I knew that I should do it while I had that kind of support.  It made it a lot easier on me, and possibly on her too.

My kids head back to school tomorrow, so we know that summer is 12 weeks and 2 days long.  Although my summer didn't go as planned, starting the evening they got out of school, I can't complain.  I am blessed that I was able to spend the summer with family and friends.

How Can the School Year be Over?

My little 6 year-old graduated from Kindergarten two weeks ago today.  As my toddler and I stood there and watched him get his certificate, I was so proud of him.  I felt that feeling in my heart that I feel when I am overwhelmed with how my children have grown.

Him, and his classmates, sang a song "I am a VIP in my Family."  It is so true.  He is a very important person in our family. As he sang that song (photo below) he kept looking at me and smiling.  He brings so much joy.  He has a smile that is contagious.  He says things that are wise beyond his years.  He is very caring, but he is mischievous too.

Here he is with his Kindergarten teacher.  I am so thankful for her patience.  I am thankful for how well she treated him.  When she started the graduation ceremony, she read a poem and started crying.  It talked about how she got them at the beginning of the year, and watched them grow into what they were that day.  I could tell she loved the children.

I said to him on the way back to our vehicle, "You know your teacher loves you?"

He said, "I know, she told us everyday."

Who doesn't want their children to have a teacher that will let them know that she loves them.  To the best of my memory, I never had a teacher tell us, as a class, that she/he loved us.  I think it would help kids treat each other and the teacher with more respect, knowing that the teacher cared about them.

He received his graduation cap and he wore it the whole day.  We went grocery shopping and he wore it.  He was so very proud that he was able to graduate from Kindergarten.  His little sister was able to enjoy the day with us also.

We didn't find out about graduation until that morning.  One of my friends on Facebook had posted that she couldn't believe her child was graduating the next morning, so I called and asked.  Thankfully I did, or I would have missed it.  I just didn't see the announcement when it came home.

My children officially finished school the next day.  They learned so much this school year, and I am always thankful for good teachers that treat my children well. 

I broke a bone in my foot that evening.  I am not allowed to put any weight on it for 4-6 weeks and then re-introduce a little weight at a time.  This summer will be interesting! 

My New Work-at-Home Job - MOBU Herbals Utah

When I was first married, my husband and I rented a room from a wonderful woman.  We were blessed to have this woman welcome us into her home, and love us and treat us as she would a family member.  During this time, we got to know a couple of her children.  One of her children is Janell Cole.  She is a Naturopathic Doctor and Master Herbalist.  She is the creator/founder of MOBU Herbals.  My husband and I were blessed to get to know her during this time.

She has been selling MOBU Herbals for eight years via her website and it has been sold in select health food stores.  It is now available to be sold at home parties via consultants.  We are looking for determined people, that believe in the product, to go out and starting making a great income while teaching people about MOBU Herbals.

The products are wonderful!  They are organic and herbal based.  There are balms, lotions, body butters and lip balms.  The products sell themselves.  Samples are made available for people to try out.  There is no doubt that they work.  I have seen how they help with ear infections, coughs, colds, congestion, sore throats, migraines, back pain, tooth aches, bug bites and skin tags.  There are lotions and balms to help with energy, to activate a sluggish immune system, and energize adrenal and thyroid glands.  There is a product to naturally ease constipation.  All of the products are transdermal.  In other words, they are absorbed through the skin.  By doing so, they bypass the liver and digestive system, which depletes the potency of oral medications, sometimes up to 90%.  Furthermore, they will not injure the organs, as some medications that are taken orally have been found to do.

The body butters are great!  Like most body butters they provide relief from dry, cracked skin.  These also can minimize scarring and stretch marks.  They provide relief from eczema.  They soothe sunburned or peeling skin.  They smell amazing!  My favorite scents are Love Potion #9 and Chocolate Cherry.  There are nine scents to choose from and unscented.

I am excited to be starting with this company and be able to help out a good friend.  I believe in her and I believe in her product.  I have used it and I know that when others get the chance to try it, they will love it also.  That is why I have free samples and I will ship them out for others to try.   The only thing that I ask is that you post a review of the product(s) that you tried on my Facebook page.

Please check out my facebook page MOBU Herbals Utah to find out about all the products.  I look forward to helping as many people as possible learn about these natural products.  

When you share this and place your first order, you will get a free lip balm of your choice... please message me, or send me an email at mobu.herbals.utah@gmail com, so I can add the lip balm to your order.  Place your order at www.stratusmall.com/store/6266 then click "health" on the left side, then "mobu herbals." When signing up as a customer, please pick "customer" (the bottom option).

My Sister's Big Day - April 26, 2014

We arrived in Minnesota on April 25, 2014.  Everyone in my vehicle was excited to finally get there and be with family.  My parents, brother, his wife, and each of their dog arrived about 1 1/2 hours later.  It was so wonderful to be together.

We picked up my brother the next day from the airport, and traded in the rental vehicle we had.   It started showing that it needed an oil change early the day before.  Since we were at the airport, it was the perfect time for the trade.

From the airport, we went to Costco.  We had to get food to eat and things for my sister's reception.  It was then that I discovered that Costco no longer has the ice cream bar at the food court.  It was a very sad moment in my life.

After Costco, we headed to the Mall of America.  It was somewhere my sister-in-law had always wanted to go to.  They were having Robot Wars in the main hallway.  We watched a couple of them.  I don't really understand the concept, but my brothers and my children enjoyed it.  We walked around and went into the Nickelodeon themed amusement park.  My toddler wasn't amused in the slightest when I didn't get her a stuffed Patrick or Spongebob toy.

It was getting late by this point.  We had to hurry back to the hotel and get ready for the wedding.  We then had to run to the reception hall and help get it ready.  We were really fast getting changed and getting out of the hotel.  I was impressed with the speed we got ready.

We headed to the reception hall where we had to get tables put in the correct places.  We made sure that chairs were around the tables and the tables were appropriately decorated.  My sister and I then went and helped our other sister get into her wedding gown.  She is absolutely beautiful.  We had to lace up the back of it.   We were busy lacing up her dress in the photo below.

We got her all laced up and got her headpiece attached.  She put on her jacket and it was time to head out.  She was taking a boat to the island she was getting married on.  We would be driving over.  My older daughter rode over on the boat because she was in charge of keeping the train off the ground.  She enjoyed that a lot!

We arrived on the island and the wedding got started.  It was a quick wedding, sweet and to the point.  There was a photographer there.  The photos have not arrived yet.  None of us remembered our cameras, so all the photos are with phones.  I think they turned out well.   I look forward to seeing the professional photos too!

After the photos were complete, we went to the reception hall.  When the bride decided it was time to eat, we all agreed.  I had lettuce wrap sandwiches.  They made them for me because of my gluten problem.  I chased my toddler around most of the night.  

One of my dear friends, who was a roommate of ours in college, was there with her family.  It was so nice to get to see her and visit with her during that evening.  She has a wonderful family.  She helped me chase my kiddos around.

The lighting in the reception hall was not very good.  Some pictures were taken in there, I found the best one of my sister.  

I am blessed to have been able to spend that day with them.  I was thankful that I was able to go.  It was an amazing evening.  I wish my sister and her husband an eternity of happiness!