Monday, March 25, 2013

Mommy, If I Die...

This morning, when I got my five year-old to school, this is what he said to me.  "Mommy, if I die, I will be resurrected soon."  With Easter being right around the corner, I believe that he learned about the Resurrection of Christ in Church yesterday.

I told him that I never want him to die.  He replied to me, "With Jesus's super powers I could still come see you."

I believe in Christ.  I believe he would still be able to come and see me.  I would just have the huge problem that I would not be able to see him.  I would not be able to hold him again or tell him how much I love him.  We often have the "I love you more than..." conversations.

I can't imagine the void, the incredible loss, that people feel that have lost a child.  These were far from the words I expected to hear this morning.  The words broke my heart.  I took a deep breath and walked him into the school.  I prayed for his safety, as well as my other children's safety, as I left.  I pray for them always, but this morning, I prayed again.

I picked up my son from school this afternoon.  He is perfectly fine.  The conversation continued on the way home.  I would be resurrected really soon.  I told him that Jesus was resurrected in three days, but it would be a lot years until we would be resurrected and that I would miss him.  He told me he could still see me.  I told him that he wouldn't be able to play with his brother or sisters.  He wouldn't be able to play on computers.  The conversation ended shortly thereafter.

I once told one of my older children, when he was three or four, that if he runs into the road and gets hit by a car he could die and go to Heaven.  He got a big smile on his face.  He wanted to go to Heaven and see his Heavenly Father.  He didn't realize that would entail not coming back here and seeing us.  From then on, I told him if he ran into the road he would get big ouchies.   That wasn't nearly as enticing.

I have discussed my anxiety problems on here recently.  Since then, my toddler has decided to not swallow a lot of different kinds of food.  I brought her to the medical center on Friday and they diagnosed her with a sensory problem.  If she doesn't like the texture, she is not going to swallow it.  They gave me ideas on things to do.  She is going to see a GI specialist on Friday to see if there are any gastrointestinal issues that could be accompanying the problem.

Between the conversation this morning and the recent issues with my daughter's eating, I decided I should call the doctor and get some medication.  I am heading to the appointment and hoping to be given a prescription for Zoloft.  I have been prescribed Zoloft in the past, and it really does help me.  Sometimes it is hard to admit that I need medication to feel normal, but the way I have been feeling recently, I know I need it.  Sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe, but of course, I am still breathing.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Happy Tenth Birthday

I gave birth ten years ago today, for the first time.  My son was born at 7:21 pm.  I remember that while I was pushing, President George W. Bush was on TV declaring war against Iraq.  I had to ask that the television be turned off.  It was not something I wanted to see while trying to give birth, and that attempt wasn't going very well.

The baby was absolutely stuck.  They tried to get him out using forceps.  He was not budging.  The baby was in distress, so I was rushed in for an emergency c-section.  I didn't know what was going on, they didn't seem horribly panicked, so I wasn't very concerned.  All I knew was that I needed to have a c-section.  I was okay with that.

Upon the removal of the baby, they ran him directly out of the room.  I kept asking my husband to find out what was going on.  There were a lot of doctors and nurses and no one was telling me anything.  Finally, someone came to get my husband and asked him if he wanted to go and see the baby.  He looked at me, and I nodded yes.

I was informed that the baby wasn't breathing at birth.  They had to get him into the NICU and get him breathing.  Thankfully, they were successful at that.  I got to see him momentarily as I was wheeled back to my room.  I smiled at him, and through tears, told him I loved him and that I was his mommy.  It would be several hours before I would see him again.  All I did see at that moment was his little face.  He was very well wrapped up.

I am blessed to have him.  He has been a wonderful son and a great big brother.  He became a big brother at 13 months and 13 days old.  He has never known life where he wasn't a big brother.  He doesn't remember not having a little sister.

He is amazing at math.  He has been nicknamed the "human calculator."  He has always amazed people with his mathematical ability.  From the time he was about 2 1/2, he has known numbers well enough to impress people.  His favorite color is green, because he was born on St. Patricks Day.

I asked him yesterday what he wanted for dinner tonight.  He told me he wanted tuna casserole.  That is the same thing I asked for when I was his age.  When I could have had anything I wanted, that is what I picked, and he did too.  I asked him what he wanted for dessert.  He said an Oreo pie.  I bought a Marie Callender's Chocolate Satin Pie and added Oreos to the top of it.  We all enjoyed that.  

I was absolutely blessed to have him enter my life ten years ago today.  I am so thankful that I have been able to raise him.  Although I didn't get to hear him cry at birth, I have been blessed to hear his laughter.  He has filled my life with laughter.  I love his smile and his wonderful sense of humor.  His heart has always been in the right place.  He cares about others and how they feel.  He is a wonderful son.  

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Springing Forward

I live in a state where we had to "spring forward" early Sunday morning.  For me, that is the most dreaded time of the year.  I never look forward to only 23 hours in a day.  To be honest, it is because I need that extra hour of sleep.  It takes me a while to get caught up on that hour of sleep I lost.  I don't know if it is because I am getting older or the reason behind it.

My children seem to adapt a lot faster to it than I do.  Sunday and Monday morning were quite interesting in our household.  They were groggy and moping around.  They didn't want to be awake anymore than I did.  This morning, they were much more lively than I was.  I could attribute it to the fact that my toddler didn't sleep well at all which, in turn, caused me to not sleep well.  When it warmed up a couple of weeks ago, she got the runny nose, sneezing and red eyes.  Now that it has warmed up again, the runny nose, sneezing and red eyes are back.  I am quite sure this is allergy-related.  My kids all seem to have allergies like their daddy.

I love the longer days that we get after springing forward!  That is an amazing bonus to the loss of sleep.  I was able to run last night, with sunlight, after my husband got home from work.  That was wonderful!  Soon, it will be 9 pm and we will still have daylight, how I look forward to that!

My toddler is resting now.  I might see if I can get some rest as well.  I'm a tired Mommy!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

"Peponi" by the Piano Guys and Other Music

My 17 month-old daughter absolutely loves the Piano Guys.  Have you heard of them?  They play amazing music.  One of their songs is called "Peponi."  My daughter will come over to me at random times of the day and say "Poppo Poppo" which is her way of letting me know that she would love to hear Peponi

I will put it on my phone or on my sister's iPad or on my computer.  If it is on the phone or iPad, she will walk around the house looking at it.  When it gets over, she will bring it back to me so I can press play again.  She likes all of their music, but this one, by far, is her preference.  I have heard this song A LOT, but I don't mind.  It really is good music.

My older children also know that this song will calm her right down.  If she is having a bit of a toddler meltdown, they will grab an electronic device and put it on for her.  It is wonderful to know something that helps to calm down a toddler. 

My children have always loved music.  Up until my husband discovered the Piano Guys, they would listen to a lot of Victoria Justice or Taylor Swift.  There was always "Old McDonald had a Farm," "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," and church songs as backups.

Music is a great thing.  I am thankful for the calming effect it has.  I am grateful that my children appreciate music.  I am not a good singer, by any means, but I enjoy singing.  I sing to my toddler as she dozes off for the night.  I love to sing the hymns from church.  I sing those to her, some of my favorites are "Because I Have Been Given Much," "I Stand All Amazed," "I am a Child of God," and "Families Can be Together Forever."

Monday, March 4, 2013

New Work Schedule

My husband has a new work schedule.  He got it today.  I think it is much better for family life than his current one.  He starts a 9 am to 6 pm schedule tomorrow.  He had been working 11 am to 8 pm for a couple weeks, and then 11:30 to 8:30 pm for several months prior to that.  Those were a hard schedule, especially with the children in school.  They didn't get to spend much time with their dad.  It is nice he will continue to get weekends off as well.

It is amazing to see how much my children have grown.  The baby runs around now.  She makes a lot of sounds.  Very few of her words are understandable.  I am working on learning some sign language to teach her so we can communicate better.  She knows "more" and "chocolate."  We are working on "yes" and "no."  We are also working on "apple."  It is hard to know what words we should really be going after.

It is fun to see how the older children play with the baby.  You wouldn't imagine that they could all have fun together, but I walk in and they are just having a great time.  They have a lot of good times together, laughing and playing. 

Today I went out and bought some stainless steel trash cans.  My two youngest children decided that they would be fun to use as drums.  I didn't imagine that use for them, but thankfully, they aren't bad drummers. :) 

Since my husband has his new schedule, I need to get all the children to their respective schools now.  The mornings should be quite interesting!


Sunday, March 3, 2013

Sick Baby and Pinewood Derby Car

Last night seemed like a common night.  I fell to sleep before midnight, as did the rest of my children.  The baby sleeps with me.  I feel more comfortable having her close by.  I fell to sleep on the couch.

At about 3 AM, I woke up to my baby coughing.  Then I felt it, the unmistakable feeling of being puked on.  I grabbed her and ran upstairs.  I first ran into the bedroom and alerted my husband of the happenings, he was sound asleep.  He told me to bring her into the bathroom.  I should have realized that was where I should have headed to begin with, but being 3 AM, my head wasn't really working correctly.

Once I got into the bathroom, I hovered her above the toilet so she could finish puking.  After she was finished puking, I brought her in to my husband so she could get a blessing.  That was the only time she puked last night, but I stayed up for a few hours just holding her and making sure she was okay.

We think that she just had a lot of phlegm in her throat which caused the problem.   She seems to be feeling better today.  For breakfast I gave her a piece of bread, for lunch she had some dry cereal and for dinner she had some crackers, noodles and some tuna fish.  I didn't want to overwhelm her little stomach in case it still didn't feel good.

This month is my son's Pinewood Derby for scouts.  He is excited to get to work on it.  I hope that it turns out well.  I am going to have to figure out how they work on those.  I don't imagine that nine year-olds should be working with power saws or anything like that.  I value my son's appendages.  I imagine that if we do have to use a power saw, I will have my husband do that part, while all the kids are at school.  Yes, this is the anxiety I previously discussed speaking...

Saturday, March 2, 2013

A Trip to PetSmart

This afternoon I decided to go to PetSmart.  Our female guinea pig appears to be pregnant again.  I guess that as soon as she gave birth last time, she was irresistible to the male.  I had caught him in the act, and had my husband separate them.  I had hoped that she wouldn't get pregnant, but by the size of her now, I think she is.

Gracie and Harry haven't been together since that night.  She has either been eating a lot more than what she is given (including her sawdust) or she is pregnant.  She is in a cage that doesn't really have a place to hide.  Guinea pigs like to hide.  I went out and bought her an igloo, which is a place for guinea pigs to hide.  She immediately ran over to it and hung out there.

My 8 year-old daughter and 5 year-old son went with me.  They were exceptionally good.  I didn't expect them to be so well-behaved, especially in a pet store.  While I paid for the purchases, they went and looked at some animals.  They were very excited to have seen a corn snake and a chameleon.  I am not a fan of snakes, I assured them that we would never own one. 

After we finished at PetSmart, we continued to a grocery store.  They were having a case lot sale (selling things in bulk) so I stocked up on some spaghetti sauce, cream soups, honey, chocolate chips and mushrooms.  Since the children were good there, I bought a package of Peeps (the sugar frosted marshmallows) and gummy worms for them.  They had the gummy worms finished before we got home,except the ones they saved for my nine year-old.

It was a beautiful day today.  I did my running around in a t-shirt and wasn't cold.  It was really nice!  This evening, after dinner, we all went on a walk.  I put the baby in her baby carrier and walked with her.  She always loves to see that, knowing she will be going on a walk.  We don't go on walks often since it has been so cold.

In other news, my van didn't pass inspection yesterday, so we had to get the rear brakes replaced.  That is never fun.  It was nice that it cost less than $100 to get them replaced.  I filled out the online paperwork today so we could get the van registered effective today.   Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to drive the vehicles, since the registrations ended in February.  We need to register our vehicles annually here, and it costs more than the 2 year registrations in NY.  No fun!