Wednesday, September 4, 2013

One Thing I Always Said I Would NEVER Do As A Mother...

I have been a mother for almost 10 1/2 years now.  It is hard for me to believe sometimes.  I have learned a lot since I became a mother, but I started planning for motherhood long before that day ever came.

I vowed that I would never be the parent that would say, "My child would NEVER do that."  Lets face it, we were all kids once.  Did you NEVER do "that?"  I can honestly say that I was not the perfect child.  I know, I know, anyone that knows me would find that hard to believe, but it is true.  How could I say "My child would NEVER do that..." when it is very likely that I, or someone I knew as a child, did "that?"

If you tell me that one of my children did "that," my child will be confronted with the information I have been given.  My child will be questioned on the issue and I will respond to you.  I will let you know what my child has said, and if necessary, my child will apologize and the appropriate punishment will be given.  If my child tells me that he/she did not do "that," then there seems to be a problem.  This is when I will want to have a meeting with the person/people that said my child did "that."

In this current age of social media, there is one thing I will not do.  I will not discuss issues that should not be discussed via instant messages, tweets, e-mail or Facebook messages.  No matter how well you read, you can't read the tone of a word on a page.  I have seen, way too often, where a huge misunderstanding has started because the "tone" of the written word was misread.

I would like to think that I am raising the perfect children.  I am going to be honest, I live with them, I see what they do, I know they are not perfect.  I will be the first person to admit it.  They are not perfect, perhaps because they do not have perfect parents.

I have always taught my children that if someone hits them, they have the right to hit back.  It is called self-defense.  They also know that if they do the hitting first, they will get in trouble.  I am not going to raise a bully, if I can help it, but neither am I going to raise a child that will be bullied, if I can help it.

I would always watch out for my younger siblings.  If someone was hurting them, that person would usually end up hurt, if the person was close to my age.  For instance, one time I was walking home from school and a girl was attempting to drown my sister in a snow bank.  The girl that was hurting my sister learned a lesson that day, a painful lesson, but a lesson nonetheless.  You do not try to drown my sister in a snow bank!

There was a boy that got new boxing gloves for his birthday.  He thought it would be fun(ny) to try those out on my brother who is 4 years younger than me.  The boxing glove boy was 1 year younger than me.  He was giving my brother a good beating.  I came out and saw it and told him to knock it off.  The boy, thinking he was all tough, thought it would be wise to stop beating on my little brother only to "box" with me.  Boxing gloves were put on, and the boy learned a lesson that day, a painful lesson, but a lesson nonetheless.  You don't beat on children that are a lot younger than you!

I'm not saying those are the only fights I was ever in, I was in more, but those are the ones that come to mind.  Neither am I saying that if you say my child did something, you are going to get it.  I do want to know if my child is accused of doing something, whether it happened or not, so it can be taken care of.  Just know, that as a mother, you will never hear me say, "My child would NEVER do that!"

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