Thursday, February 21, 2013

One Bad Idea

I had the brilliant stupid idea that we should all move out west.  On paper, it all looked good.  We would all move to Nevada.  It would be nicer out there, the sun would shine more and it wouldn't get as cold.  There would be jobs for everyone... there were engineering jobs for one of my brothers, there were casinos for my other brother and my husband (they had both worked at a casino in NY), and it was close to dear relatives.  I could find a job quickly doing data entry, I always had.  It is something I am good at.  My parents are retired, so they wouldn't need to work.  They would be close to family and we could all hang out together, but on the other side of the country.

As it has turned out, I now have 2 brothers in Washington, a brother still in New York, a sister that lives with me here and a sister in Wyoming.  My parents are still in New York also.  Me and my brilliant stupid idea, has my family spread out all over the country.  Now, when someone is hurting, we are not a few blocks away, where we can go and surround someone and give them all the love they need, and then some.  Instead, we are several hours, or days, away from each other.  It makes it quite impossible to be there for each other when needed. 

My husband was all over the idea of moving away from New York.  He didn't like some of the laws, he didn't like his job and the neighbors we shared a wall with made life complicated when it came to sleeping.  I don't think there will ever be a way that I can convince him to move back to New York, especially since we have bought a house. 

Knowing that a sibling of mine is hurting is absolutely killing me.  Knowing that a couple of years ago we lived less than a mile away, pangs me more.  It is some inhumane form of torture to be stuck here and there is nothing I can do, except to pray.  People that love you are not supposed to hurt you, at least that is what I would like to believe. 

I am thankful for each member of my family.   I wish we lived much closer, like we used to.  I hope one day we can live close again.

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