Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Major Anxiety

I have terrible anxiety.  Having anxiety is a horrible form of mental torture.  I worry about my children a lot.  If my baby gets sick, I literally start to shake.  I start to feel sick to my stomach.  I have these physical signs of my anxiety and it is no fun.  I worry about what is actually wrong with her, since she can't tell me.  It is so much better when they are old enough to tell me this or that hurts.

My husband doesn't have anxiety.  I have tried talking to him about this.  He just tells me I overreact to everything.  He tells me that I just shouldn't worry about things.  I wish it were that easy.  I have joked with him that if someone could take his blood and analyze it, the perfect anti-anxiety drug could be made.   I am not saying this to bad mouth, I am actually envious.  I wish I could live day-to-day life without worrying about what might happen.  Does this make any sense?

I hope that my children get my husband's lack of anxiety.  I sometimes can see some anxiety in my oldest son.  He worries when his little brother runs ahead of us, and he will chase him down and tell him not to do that.  I worry about that too.  I often tell him not to run ahead because a car could back out and not see him or he could run into the street.  I usually have the baby in her baby carrier so it is hard to chase him down.  He will usually walk beside me, unless we are out with the older children on a walk.

I am tired so I am going to call it a night.  Hope it has been a great day for everyone!

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